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Seattle - Coffee, Youth & Bums PDF Print E-mail
Written by The Boxman   
Thursday, 04 February 2010
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Barista Bums
Our agents have hit the street of Seattle at the optimum time to assess the street people situation in the Pacific Northwest.  The Seattle Times reported that two local service providers will be receiving over $7 million dollars in funding for programs to get homeless youth off the streets permanently.  It appears from our agents initial reports that Seattle will need more that $7 million.

Youthcares and ROOTS received this generous grant to support programs that offer housing, job training, and addiction counseling to youths. The programs offers support to prevent young people from becoming chronically homeless by giving them the tools to overcome hardships from being raised by sucky parents and drug addition to get them back on a path to self sufficiency.  These youth can obtain free housing and counseling while participating in an 8 week barista training program so they can move from homeless to chronic poverty and a life of steamed milk burns.  It is our understanding that if your home life sucks, you need money, a place to live, and job training that the military does not require you to smoke meth and live under a bridge as a job requirement.

We applaud Youthcares and ROOTS (and Alex Haley for that matter) for thinking long term and not just asking for funding to feed and care for the homeless.  It just bothers me that the only bath the man handling my Chai Latte had recently might be the steam raising off the cup.  Our agents report that this program is needed because in their first day, well not even first day, in the first minutes after leaving the airport they hit a wall of street people.  It was as the street people of Seattle knew our team was coming and lined up to get on our website as if we are the American Idol of bum culture.

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Little Bit Better Bum
Our team was picked up by our resident guide, Agent Pony Ring, and in a short 5 minute ride. The first exit ramp off the highway encountered a street person flying a sign and hustling change.  Bundled up in one of those nice all weather outdoor jackets that cost a fortune but are made by hand in India by little children our first Seattle bum went for a sign with a cute phrase to help people see past the layer of grime.  Holding a sign that proclaimed “A little help would help a lot” with a little smiley face he staked out a busy rush hour highway exit ramp.

He of course included the required “God Bless” on his sign so that exiting tech senior VP’s would know he was repentant for his position in life. What amazed us most about the sign, in place that it seems to rain all the time he was able to produce a clean white sign with no water damage while he is wrapped against the elements.  I guess our little help would help a lot because he would be able to use the money to complete his patent on stay dry paper.  Our agent rolled down the window and the hopeful street person approached the car looking for a dollar or some change.  We shared our newspaper, pointing to the story of the Barista training program and short term shelter.  His comment was “You can’t live in Seattle on what a Barista makes I am better off panhandling.”  Then of course as our window rolled back up he asked if we had a dollar.




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